Reservation Road

I finished reading Reservation Road by John Burnham Schwartz recently. I was interested because I was recently slightly obsessed with Joaquin Phoenix after seeing "Walk The Line" and I wanted to read this before seeing the new movie based on the book that he is in.

It is a devastatingly sad book, the majority of it explores the aftermath of a child being killed in a hit and run - both from the perspective of his family and the man that killed him. Yeah - this isn't exactly a fun read.

But it is really beautiful at times - mainly about the treasure of small moments, little observations of love that a lot of times are so small we just enjoy them internally and never share them with the person we love. The family that has lost their son spends a lot of time remembering moments with him and trying to find their way back to each other - the man that killed him is dealing with observations of his love for his son that he knows he must give up in order to come clean about what he did and face the consequences.

One of my favorite moments is when one of the dads is comforting his son at night and he lifts his son out from the covers and feels the trapped heat under the blankets from his small body. I just love when a book finds those moments - something that I've felt before, such a feeling of intimacy and love and caring, but I've never really articulated it. I know that little ball of heat when my cat is sleeping under the covers, or when I lean over to kiss Ryan good-bye in the morning - those sweet private moments that give me a little pinch of love for my family. I just appreciate that this book made me take more notice of those things and remember that love is made up of so many little moments. I shouldn't be moving so fast that I don't remember to feel all those special things.

I also think it is really interesting to get in the mind of a person that I'm sure anyone reading this feels an immediate disgust for - the hit and run driver. This book isn't an excuse for him - it just puts you in his head and gives you all of the motivations and situations that led up to him making that decision. Then, it lets you see how trapped he is, both in his hatred for himself and his dilemma with his own son. I really feel like his story ends up as heartbreaking as the family that lost their boy.

Really, the only downside of this book is the subject matter - it makes me ache just thinking about it again. It's a tearjerker at times, but I feel like it also trys to be honest, warts and all - there are no one-dimensional characters, it's really a portrait of human beings.