So, I have this ongoing conflict with a co-worker. We have resolved our differences and restored peace a few times in the past year. Now, she is preggo and things got Bad-to-the Ultimate-Nth-Degree yesterday. I let it ruin my day yesterday and I vented about it to my boyfriend last night.
This morning she was crying about me (apparently I am not respecting her and some other stuff about me being unorganized...) She basically lost it today and just like usual, I try to explain why she is now stormed off crying and redfaced--after she treated me like garbage and flew off the handle. (Imagine crazy arm/hand motions, arched back, high pitched squealing, and defensiveness abound as she is lashing out on me...then she usually says "her back hurts" or something a few minutes later or some lame excuse when she is more calm.)
Well, I felt bad. Felt bad this pregnant woman is crying because of me. Felt bad I'm difficult to get along with. Felt bad I'm part of this drama stirrup at work. I rationalize that everyone dislikes her and it's not just me, but I wonder how much easier both of our jobs would be if I was a Mother Theresa, easy going , hippie, laid back, peacemaking, smily, passive, quiter gal.
So, I leave work to get a latte and stew a bit about how its seems most logical and easiest to just quit my job. Half of my brain knows this is nonsense. The other half wants to quit quit quit and join a travelling Cat Show with Patsy. Or Pickles.
I calmed down about 15% after chatting with aforementioned boyfriend. Then I decided to make amends by buying a lot of chocolate. Mini cheesecakes, an oreo cake, and some pints of assorted delicious ice creams. It is the evil crying preggo's birthday tomorrow and I thought I would bring these desserts to our staff meeting today to cut any tension & basically buy my way out of an uncomfortable situation. I came in with bags of treats, apologized for being difficult to get along with, told her I want her to have a nice birthday and to accept my chocolates as a truce. She quietly thanked me without eye contact and ate some turtle cheesecake. She also said she isn't exactly the easiest person to get along with either. (Which surprised me and was good enough to make my blood stop boiling.) Dare I admit that I am just as dominant and strong personalitied as thios woman? Ug! Makes me want to cut off my tongue.
Maybe my New Year's Resolution should NOT be giving up pizza, but rather, giving up gnarliness and being such a perpetrator of conflict.
---Nan Halen
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1 comment:
oh, these are good things to think about, but you are WAY too hard on yourself in everyway. work conflicts can be so difficult to resolve, it was nice of you to take the high road. hang in there
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